This month's WTF post is a true story about one man and four bowls. It's not to be confused with Two Girls, One Cup; even though that's what the title is supposed to do. [Insert sound of comedic drum riff.]
It is lunchtime at the office and the man is hungry. He proceeds to the office breakroom with his lunch in tow. Today's lunch is a delicious can of soup. What kind of soup you ask? I have no idea, I wasn't there. The hungry man opens the cupboard and removes four paper bowls, then he opens the drawer and takes out a plastic spoon. He opens his soup can with the convenient pull tab top. One bowl is too small to hold all of the soup, but two bowls are just right. He pours half of the soup into one bowl and then the other half into the second bowl. He uses the plastic spoon to scrape out any leftover soup chunks. He throws the can into the trash. Next, he opens the microwave and puts his two bowls of soup in. He covers each of the soup bowls with the other two bowls that he removed from the cupboard. When the soup is heated enough, he throws the two paper bowls away that were covering the soup to prevent splatters. The hungry man then carries his two bowls of soup, his plastic spoon, and napkins to his desk to eat his lunch. When he is finished, he throws the two paper soup bowls, his plastic spoon, and his napkins into the trash can at his desk.
This is a real story of a wasteful hungry man witnessed by someone I know. I'd like to retell the story in a version that is what I do when I bring a can of soup for lunch to work.
Betty is hungry, it is nearly 11am. Who eats lunch that early? Betty does, that's who! Betty grabs the can of Progresso Vegetable soup from her desk cupboard along with her stainless steel spoon and brings it, along with her ceramic bowl from home, to the office breakroom. Betty flips the pull tab on top of the soup can and pours the soup into the ceramic bowl. She uses her spoon to scrape out the vegetables that are stuck in the can. Betty puts her soup into the microwave and covers it with one paper napkin. While her soup is heating up, she rinses out the soup can and then puts it into the recycling bin that is in the breakroom. She looks out the window and people watches for a moment. She thinks about going for a walk today but decides she is too lazy and doesn't feel like it. When the soup is ready, Betty tosses the paper napkin and brings her soup and her spoon to her desk. After Betty eats her soup she returns to the breakroom and washes out her bowl and her spoon. She dries them with a second paper napkin. Betty returns to her desk and puts her spoon back into the cupboard above her desk, she puts the bowl into her reusable lunch tote so she remembers to take it home. She doesn't want to forget it because Handsome Husband will complain that it's missing because he likes that bowl the best. Why did she take the bowl that Handsome Husband likes best? Because it's the only bowl big enough for soup, that's why!
How do you eat your soup? Like wasteful man or like less wasteful Betty? What you do each day matters. Do it right.
How do you eat your soup? Like wasteful man or like less wasteful Betty? What you do each day matters. Do it right.
This is me, Betty, eating soup.
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