*The Portal Gun Debacle

Now that there is a portal gun in every household, in every dimension, we are back to square one of waste management.  The massive garbage problem was all but solved back in late 2018 when scientist Rick Sanchez of Earth Dimension C-137 suggested we use his invention of the portal gun to transport our waste into other dimensions. With our Earth Dimension being the first (and for a long time only) dimension to use the portal gun for trash disposal it was a simple and effective solution. With ease, you could aim, toss, and be rid of anything you wanted.  With trash going to other dimensions, it literally made it someone else’s problem. With trash no longer an issue, consumerism went up and the economy was more robust than ever. Our Earth was doing fabulously until it wasn’t. Driving down the street, a large bag of trash would appear out of nowhere!  Or sitting in your living room, watching inter dimensional cable, and a pile of garbage appears! At first, it was only once in a while but then it was everywhere, all the time. One by one, the other dimensions created the same method of waste management and not only sent their garbage to our dimension but they sent all of our garbage back too.  “Oh jeez, Rick!” was the sentiment of people young and old alike, all around the world. Luckily, Rick C-137 was to the rescue. He requested an emergency meeting at the Trans-dimensional Citadel of Ricks and pleaded his case to the Council of Ricks. One option was to send everything to the Cronenberg world, but in a unanimous vote, the Ricks decided that all trash would be sent via portal gun to Dimension J19 Zeta 7.  All the Ricks felt comfortable with this spectacular solution and applauded Rick C-137 for his ingenuity. It’s always nice to stick it to Doofus Rick, they agreed. There is a sense of peace and harmony across the dimensions with the garbage problem solved once again. Rick C-137 takes full credit for solving the portal gun debacle and adds “it’s an excellent twist to give all our sh!t to J19 Zeta 7, no one can stand Doofus Rick and since he’s too stupid to make his own portal gun, we can live without fear of retaliation.” Rick C-137 has proven to be the Rickest Rick indeed.

*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty