Gone are the days of fishing regulations. No more throwing back fish that are too small or too large. No more specifications on bait, or lure, or how many fish you can keep, thanks to Blinky fish! The Blinky fish is the next step in the evolutionary ladder in the orange fish species. Blinky fish started appearing in lakes, ponds, and rivers near Springfield late last year. Thanks to copious amounts of environmental toxins and nuclear waste runoff and dumping, Blinky fish is anywhere and everywhere. These delectable three-eyed orange fish spawn just as fast as you can eat them, so there is no need to worry about overfishing them. In fact, there are so many Blinky fish that the only worry you should have is that they will clog up our waterways. The Blinky fish is inexpensive and delicious. Blinky fish is also good for you. Due to the high level of unnatural chemicals in the fish, you get all of your nutrients as well as anti-aging and tissue preserving properties in one healthy meal. Try eating Blinky fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It will save you money, keep you healthy, and it tastes great. More is always better, especially when it comes to fish and eyeballs. Blinky fish is not a horrible mutant but an evolutionary delicacy for all to enjoy.
*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty
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