Magdalene and I made a run to Michael's to pick up the glossy paint to finish off the ornaments this year from our annual ornament sweatshop tradition. On our way in, we noticed that you can buy a smiling pile of Christmas poo. The hard part was picking out which one we liked the best. First world problems are the worst!
Pile of poo became an official emoji in 2015. The origin of the pile of poo emoji comes from a Japanese cartoon character named Dr. Slump. Dr. Slump became popular in 2011 and served as the inspiration for the pile of poo as we know it today.
Because Americans will buy anything, you can now buy pile of poo emoji: plush, pillows, bedding, towels, shower curtains, window curtains, slippers, shirts, hats, leggings, boxers, earrings, necklaces, magnets, mugs, coasters, cookie cutters, pens, phone cases, costumes, ID straps (for the professional in your family), pinatas, license plate car tags and decals (for the car enthusiast in your family), fidget spinners, and ornaments. I'm sure the list could go on and on but that was what I found on a quick search.
There is a demand right now for smiling pile of poo birthday parties. You can get all sorts of party supplies and even a smiling pile of poo cake for your little one. How on earth are parents going to explain that in ten years? When looking back at pictures and your teenager asks why the heck you threw them a sh!t party what will you say? "Well honey, poop was really cool then." Or when they find their poop ornament with a Santa hat? "Oh dear, you just loved that little turd so much, we wanted you to remember it forever."
Let me be clear, I don't have an issue with the emoji. I freaking love poop and fart jokes. I have a great sense of humor. I like all humor, dirty humor, toilet humor, you name it. I specialize in double entendres.
What I don't like is how stupid we are as a country. Americans spend so much money on useless crap and spend way beyond their means. The average credit card debt in our country is between $5,700 and $8,284 per household. Minnesota has an average credit card debt per household of $6,761, and ranks 36th out of 50 for credit card debt. Alaska is number one with an average of $13,048 per household. In America, 40% of households carry credit card debt.
My two cents: Don't spend your money on a piles of sh!t.
Rating: I give pile of poo emoji merchandise one out of five possible slow claps for being f**king stupid.
The smiling pile of Christmas poo that caused a sh!tstorm in my brain
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