“Am I for to be a good recycler? Well, I can’t rightly say since I’m not sure what that means. I’ve never had a lot of the thinking smarts when it comes to the big words. Betsy [my name is Betty] here asked me to be a guest logger, so I guess I'll give it some shot. I’m not so good at the writing so Julian is gonna film me instead. I went ahead and asked Bubbles and he told me the recycling is when you use something again. Bubbles told me about the five R's which I think were Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Refuckulate, or something like that. Now that I know what it is, I think I’m for to be pretty f*cking awesome at using stuff again. For a sample, I always use the same kind of clones when I start my growing again since it makes the f*cking best sh!t to come outta Sunnyvale. One time, I got so f*cked up, I ate nine cans of ravioli. I mean, no one wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did, I’m ashamed of myself but that’s just how f*cked in the head I was. I’m also good at using stuff again, like my clothes. I God damn love this shirt right here [grabs his houndstooth shirt] and my track pants. I can’t even leave my house [he lives in his car] without these track pants right here.” [Bottle kids show up and begin to pelt Ricky and Julian with bottles as they attempt to duck.] “And that’s another thing, those bottle kids may be a pain in my ass here in the park but they are reusing those bottles. They smash ‘em up real nice, so that’s a good thing. My pops uses his bottles again too. He uses all those bottles and jugs to piss in so that probably counts for somethin’ right? I mean look at all those p!ss jugs.” [He motions to a mountain of urine filled jugs.] “My thinkings also are thinking Bubbles is a good recycler, fixing all those carts. He steals them, fixes them up real good, and sells them back to the mall. If that’s not some good recycling, I guess I don’t know what is. I had Garbage Land a few years ago, that's a good way to recycle stuff. You know what they say "one man's garbage is another man person's good garbage." "Oh sh!t, it’s Mr. Lahey!” [Mr. Lahey pulls up in his Chrysler and Randy steps out. Ricky and Julian have already run off.]
Ricky Lafleur (right)
*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty
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