Resolve to NOT Have a New Year's Resolution

That's right, New Year's resolutions are a waste of time and energy.  If you couldn't already do or stop doing what you would be resolving, you probably can't do or stop doing it tomorrow.  That's exactly why the best New Year's resolution is to stop making New Year's resolutions once and for all.  If you really need to make a New Year's resolution, it should be to read this blog.  It will help you make positive changes throughout the year.

I used to make New Year's resolutions each year as a way to try and better myself.  Save more money, exercise, eat healthier, lose the baby weight, stop swearing, give up pop, etc.  Statistically, 80% of New Year's resolutions fail by February, 12% more fail before the end of the year, which leaves us at an 8% rate of success.  

One year I decided to give up pop for an entire year.  I was allowed to take a sip of my Husband's pop every now and again during the course of that year, and I did so several times.  During that year I grew to dislike the taste and didn't miss it after a while.  It was a success.  The very next New Year's day, I had a Coke Zero and it was magical after the first few sips.  Now I drink one can per day during the week and one or two cans on the weekend days.  It was a stupid resolution and I wonder why I didn't just cut back on pop in the first place.  I'll never quit Coke Zero because it's f*cking amazing.  

Another year, I decided to give up swearing.  Cold turkey.  At the stroke of midnight, I would not swear.  I was allowed to swear in times of extreme anger or if I hurt myself.  If I swore in front of one of the kids and they heard me, they got to plan the dinner menu for one week.  The problem is, you can't make changes just like that.  Nothing makes the stroke of the clock give you the power to change.  I actually did better than I expected that year but a lot of meals were planned by the kids and they delighted in hearing mom drop a swear bomb.  The truth is, I swear.  I try not to do it all the time but "curse" words are an important part of my personal lexicon.  I enjoy words, I like learning new words and what they mean.  I enjoy being able to speak and understand intelligent vocabularies.  F*ck is, and will always be my favorite word.  It is so versatile.  It helps me express my thoughts and feelings in a way that no other word, big or small, can.  At the end of that year, I went right back to my old swearing habit like nothing had changed because nothing had changed.  Just another stupid resolution.

I've made a lot of positive changes in my life and none of them had to do with a New Year's resolution.  If you want to better yourself, better yourself.  Make small changes and adjust slowly or you will set yourself up to fail.  Strive to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be.  

What does this have to do with living with less?  Everything.  

Book Review: The Year of Less

I recently read The Year of Less by Cait Flanders.  To be honest, it was just okay.  If you are new to the idea of living with less, it may be a great read for you.  There are a few things that I did enjoy and took away from the book.  I recommend checking it out from your local library if you want to read it.

The story begins with Cait announcing to her friends that she is beginning a shopping ban that she will follow for one year.  Her friends are not surprised because Cait often does things like this.  She has given up things before.  Cait has given up drugs, drinking, binge eating, and she has overcome massive debt.  I applaud her brutal honesty in revealing these struggles and how she took charge of her life.  She takes us through one year of the shopping ban, the successes, and the struggles.  

Throughout the book, she talks about giving away, selling, and donating belongings that she realizes she does not need.  Many of the things she donates are things that she has bought for herself that she kept for years but she has never touched.  She explains that she came to realize that many of the things she would buy were for a "better version" of herself.  Clothes that she thought she should wear but knew she never would.  Books that she should read but knew she never would.  That really hit me because I've done that exact thing.  I've bought things that were for a better version of myself.  I bought Don Quixote with every intention of reading it because that's what I envisioned the smarter version of myself should do.  I owned that book for well over a decade and never got past the first page.  I did the same thing with an Edgar Allan Poe book that had The Murders in the Rue Morgue.  I never got past the first page.  I kept those two books thinking that I would read them and during The Great Purge of 2018, I finally accepted that I was never going to read them.  

During the year Cait gets rid of the majority of her belongings and learns that she is much happier with less.  She is so excited about the positive changes in her life that she decides to extend the shopping ban for another year.

The book illustrates the things that I have learned and embraced.  I am happier with less and feel more fulfilled in life.  Things are simpler and more peaceful when you have less around you.  There is a great deal of freedom in living with less and the financial impact is extremely satisfying.

One thing I especially enjoyed in the book is the Do you need it? chart that she has.  It helps to get you in the right frame of mind for need versus want.

*Guest Blog featuring Ricky Lafleur

“Am I for to be a good recycler?  Well, I can’t rightly say since I’m not sure what that means.  I’ve never had a lot of the thinking smarts when it comes to the big words. Betsy [my name is Betty] here asked me to be a guest logger, so I guess I'll give it some shot.  I’m not so good at the writing so Julian is gonna film me instead. I went ahead and asked Bubbles and he told me the recycling is when you use something again.  Bubbles told me about the five R's which I think were Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, and Refuckulate, or something like that. Now that I know what it is, I think I’m for to be pretty f*cking awesome at using stuff again. For a sample, I always use the same kind of clones when I start my growing again since it makes the f*cking best sh!t to come outta Sunnyvale.  One time, I got so f*cked up, I ate nine cans of ravioli. I mean, no one wants to admit they ate nine cans of ravioli, but I did, I’m ashamed of myself but that’s just how f*cked in the head I was. I’m also good at using stuff again, like my clothes.  I God damn love this shirt right here [grabs his houndstooth shirt] and my track pants. I can’t even leave my house [he lives in his car] without these track pants right here.” [Bottle kids show up and begin to pelt Ricky and Julian with bottles as they attempt to duck.]  “And that’s another thing, those bottle kids may be a pain in my ass here in the park but they are reusing those bottles. They smash ‘em up real nice, so that’s a good thing. My pops uses his bottles again too. He uses all those bottles and jugs to piss in so that probably counts for somethin’ right?  I mean look at all those p!ss jugs.” [He motions to a mountain of urine filled jugs.] “My thinkings also are thinking Bubbles is a good recycler, fixing all those carts. He steals them, fixes them up real good, and sells them back to the mall. If that’s not some good recycling, I guess I don’t know what is.  I had Garbage Land a few years ago, that's a good way to recycle stuff. You know what they say "one man's garbage is another man person's good garbage." "Oh sh!t, it’s Mr. Lahey!” [Mr. Lahey pulls up in his Chrysler and Randy steps out. Ricky and Julian have already run off.]

Ricky Lafleur (right)

*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty

Dear Betty: Bite Toothpaste Bits 12/28/18

Dear Bite Toothpaste Bits,

I'm so excited to learn about this awesome product with zero waste in mind! My husband can only use sensitive toothpaste. Will you be making a product for people who need sensitive oral care?

Thanks,
Betty

Dear Betty,

Our tablets are safe for sensitive teeth but we do not include the chemicals that numb your teeth the way commercial desensitizing toothpaste does. The way desensitizing toothpaste works is that it contains ingredients such as potassium nitrate or strontium chloride which block pain signals to the nerve of the tooth by stopping up the tiny tunnels in your teeth that go to the nerve. Ours doesn't do that and instead, we use mild abrasives and restoring clays like kaolin which means our tablets still clean your teeth without the harshness of the other guys.

Hope this helps and thanks for your interest and for being a plastic-free pioneer!

Chelsee


My two cents:

It's super cool when companies strive to make quality products with responsible packaging.  I'm definitely going to give this product a try and I'll write a review when I do!  

Ladies with Big Jugs Recycle so Hard

That's right, big jugs make better recycling.  I've said before that recycling isn't the answer to the plastic problem in America, however, getting away from plastic takes time and it is a learning process.  Slow and steady wins the race.

Making changes is easiest done in small steps.  We used to buy Minute Maid juice boxes for school lunches and didn't think anything of it.  Once you realize that the juice box, the straw, the plastic wrapper surrounding the straw, and the plastic wrap that holds ten juice boxes together is all going in the trash, it's easier to come to terms with the idea of change.  The only part of the juice box ten pack that can be recycled is the thick paper insert that has the logo and UPC bar code on it.  Each juice box contains 6.75 ounces of juice, and the ten pack costs $3.49 at Target.  

We switched to the 128-ounce jug of apple juice that sells for $3.89 at Target.  When you do the math, the juice boxes cost .058 cents per ounce and the jug costs .030 cents per ounce.  The perceived convenience of the juice box costs you nearly double and it produces a heap of trash.  We bought the boy a stainless steel thermos and we pour his juice in that when he brings a cold lunch.  It saves money and the planet.  

I realize that juice isn't healthy for kids but I pick my battles and this is one that the kids have won.  I also realize that juice boxes make things "easier" but pouring juice into a thermos isn't hard.  How freaking easy does life have to be?

A little sneaky peek at my big, beautiful jugs.

Weekly Weigh In 12/26/18

It's that last special time of the year and I'm happy to report that we have one bag of trash going out to the curb this week!  I'm pretty proud of that considering we just had Christmas and still came in on target.  That brings our total for December to a whopping two bags of trash.  

How did you weigh in this week?

Take It Back

We all receive well intended and thoughtful gifts that we just won't use or need.  Don't keep gifts out of obligation.  The last thing I want when I give a gift is for the recipient to keep it because they feel like they have to.   

I'm a firm believer that gifts should be given because you want to give them.  Likewise, gifts should be kept because they are wanted.  If it doesn't fit, you won't use it, you don't need it, or you just don't want it, take it back.  If you have the gift receipt, take it back or exchange it, that's the intended purpose of the gift receipt, so don't feel bad.  If you don't have the gift receipt and you can't return or exchange it, pay it forward.  What better way to honor the thought behind the gift than to give it to someone who will love it and use it?  Maybe someone actually needs it and can use what you have and it would otherwise just sit in your closet or drawer.  

Do you keep gifts because you have to?  Do you keep gifts out of guilt?  Do you keep gifts because the giver would be offended that you didn't like it?  Do you set out the gift whenever the gift giver comes to visit?  Do you keep gifts because you might want them someday?  Do you keep gifts that might fit at some point?  Do you keep gifts you don't like just because they cost a lot?  These are not reasons to keep things.  

Did you get something that you don't like, doesn't fit, you can't use, or you don't need?  Take that sh!t back and don't feel bad.  

Four Stebbers (mostly) Agree: What Matters During the Holidays

I have four beautiful children ages 16, 14, 12, and 6.  I have a lot of parenting years under my belt and I feel like I know what kids want.  But do I?  I try really hard to make the holidays special for the kids but so much of it is guesswork.  I also think that a lot of people focus too much on presents and not enough on quality time and making memories.  I decided to create a survey and see what my kids had to say.  Their answers may make you think about how kids of varying ages feel about the holiday season.

Question:

1. True or False, I like my present better when it has a ribbon or bow on it.

A: 1 true, 3 false

2. Do you prefer your present in a gift bag or wrapped?

A: 1 gift bag, 3 wrapped

3. True or False, I would like my present less if it was wrapped in just newspaper.

A: 1 true, 3 false

4. True or false, presents make it feel like Christmas.

A: 3 true, 1 false

5. True or false, my family's holiday traditions are important to me.

A: 3 true, 1 false

6. True or false, I would like presents even if my parents can't afford them.

A: 1 true, 3 false

7. Would you rather get one present that is something you really want or ten presents that are things you may or may not like?

A: 4 one present, 0 ten presents

8. True or false, I remember what presents I received last Christmas or for my last birthday.

A: 2 true, 2 false

9. The most meaningful present I ever received was:

A: Concert tickets to Lana Del Rey, The cookbook Mom made me, Monster High castle, Dinosaur picture.

10. My favorite part of the holiday season is:

A: Not having school, Cookie decorating with my family, Family getting along and people being kind, Painting ornaments.

The answers are not surprising but they do speak volumes.  Kids enjoy presents but also find sentiment in the other holiday traditions.  Try creating a budget and giving meaningful gifts within that budget.  There's no point in buying tons of gifts or spending money you don't have on gifts.  Chances are, they won't remember what their presents were by time Christmas rolls around again and 75% of kids don't care if the present is wrapped in newspaper.  Don't kill yourself trying to make it rain presents.  Find some things your family can do together and start some traditions.  Traditions will be remembered throughout their lives, long after the presents are gone and forgotten.  Everyone enjoys presents, but less is more. 

Meet the Panel:

Harriet, Frank, Charlie (the dog), Magdalene, and Esmeralda 

(not their real names)

Stebber Holiday Traditions: The Obligatory Santa Photo

The Santa photo is extremely important to me.  It warms the iciest cockles of my tar black heart to watch my kids sit on the fat man's lap.  Each year marks a special moment in time and I love to look back at each year and see how my kids have grown.  They really do grow up fast and looking at older pictures of them always brings a tear to my eye.  They are so precious and the time flies by before you know it.  I hope they will continue to oblige me in this special tradition for at least a few more years.  Check out some of our pictures from the last several years: 

Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

Are you stuck on that last gift for that special someone?  I've got your back.  Liquor is an excellent gift, especially this time of year.  There are so many varieties and prices for any budget.  Make sure you buy your wine and liquor in glass bottles.  You can recycle them and feel good about it since glass can be recycled infinitely.  Wine corks can be composted, but beware of the plastic impostor corks.  Most people like to imbibe from time to time and the holiday season is full of reasons to get drunk opportunities to toast and celebrate with your loved ones.  Worst case scenario, liquor will make the festivities more palatable.  I don't drink a whole lot but mama does need her medicine from time to time.  Holidays and festivities stress me out and mama's little helper is always welcome.  Give someone you love the gift of inebriation.  

*Frosty the Snowman is Sick of His Old Crap

I'm Frosty and I just want everyone to know that I'm not the snowman that I used to be.  I'm a celebrity and that stuff they say about me just isn't true anymore.  I've been famous for a long time and I've made some bank in that time.  Don't get me wrong, I'm still the jolly happy soul that I used to be, I've just been afforded the finer things in life.  

For starters, I don't wear that old silk hat anymore.  I'm sick of all that old crap.  I have a top hat now that's extra tall and has a sleek shine.  I keep a rabbit in it just for fun.  

Let's talk about this coal for eyes crap.  I ain't got time for no damn cheap coal eyes.  Nah.  This fly snowman has got himself a couple pair of eyes now.  I have one pair of onyx for my day to day.  Now for nights out or when I wanna be on fleek, I have a pair of highly polished fire agates.  Fire agates look badass and give me an extra little something to draw some extra attention.  

My nose has been the topic of much speculation.  Some people say it's a button nose and others say it's a carrot nose.  The carrot nose was an ugly rumor started and perpetuated by the agriculture industry.  They tried to cash in on my celebrity for their own nefarious, greedy reasons.  Truth is, I never had a carrot nose.  Carrot noses are for basic snowmen, and even in the beginning, I was no basic snowman.  I had a button nose and even that was better than a carrot for a nose.  These days I rock a 100-carat heirloom Citrine gemstone nose.  This snowman don't play.  Yes, it's fancy, but that's how I roll.  I actually had it mined by hand, deep in the Northern Ural Mountains in Russia.  I had it sent to Kim Kardashian before I got it so she could give it a little kiss for good luck for me.  We go way back.  

Let's talk about that corn cob pipe.  Now that's just embarrassing.  It's what I had at the time and that's that.  I tossed that corn cob pipe into the fire the first chance I got.  You won't be seeing me with that anymore.  These days all I smoke is Cannabis Caviar rolled in freshly printed, crisp $100 bills.  

How can I get close enough to a fire to toss in my old corn cob pipe?  Easy.  I ain't got to worry myself with melting anymore.  I can go in the sun, close to the fire, or to Hawaii, if the mood strikes me.  I had each of my flakes impregnated with medical grade silicone, gold flakes, and diamond dust.  I got sparkle and shine like no other snowman you know.  

Lastly, let's talk footwear.  All I wear is Yeezy brand.  I wear a different pair everyday and I never wear the same pair twice.  I'm fly like that and it's a personal favor to Kanye, to help promote his business.  I'm a humble guy despite my wealth and I like to do what I can to help others out.  

*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty

Dear Betty: Reader Email 12/21/18

Hi Betty,
What do you do with gift wrap after it's used?
Thanks

Thanks for the question!  I have been debating phasing out traditional gift wrapping paper but I still have some from before my garbage epiphany, so I want to use that up.  I have made an effort to buy wrapping paper that is made from recycled paper and/or wrapping paper that is recyclable itself for the last few years.   The thing about recycling it is that I don't think crumpled up, ripped up, taped up paper recycles well.  What we started doing with the last birthday, is taking that paper and adding it to our burn bucket.  It makes the most sense to me to just burn it.  

Thanks,
Betty

Do you have a question, comment, or suggestion?

I'd love to hear from you!

Email me at Mrs.Stebber@gmail.com or comment on the blog

Stebber Holiday Traditions: Cookie Decorating

Another special Stebber holiday tradition is cookie decorating. I’m sure a lot of families do this and it’s a wonderful tradition to have. I used to make the sugar cookies from scratch, roll them out, cut them, and bake them.  I already have a million things to do and bake, and this quickly became a grueling chore.  A friend of mine told me about Complete Recipe cookies that you can buy at Cub Foods. There are 24 pre-cut sugar cookies in the shape of stars, trees, and snowmen.  You have to get them early or they may sell out. I make a point to get them before Thanksgiving. They are already frozen so they keep well in the freezer. They are delicious and so much easier than baking them from scratch. I bake plenty of other cookies and treats with the kids so we still have those special moments.

Every year I bake the cookies and we gather around the table for the kids to decorate them.  We listen to holiday music in the background. I mix up a few colors of frosting and have some sprinkles and such to use.  The kids always compete to have the winning cookie. The winning cookie is one that I pick and eat. It isn’t a competition to make the best or prettiest cookie. The objective is to make a cookie the way mom likes to eat it. The winning cookie is big, has gobs of frosting, and enough sprinkles to give you diabetes. If my pancreas hurts after I eat it, you are a shoo-in as the winner.

Cookie decorating is a fun and easy tradition to have.  It is another thing to do together as a family to make the holiday season magical.  It makes memories and shifts the focus off of just presents.

2017

2016

Weekly Weigh In 12/19/18

It's garbage day again!  This week the handsome husband put out the recycling bin (which was full) and zero bags of garbage.  A pretty amazing feat considering this is the most wasteful time of year.   Just being aware of the amount of trash you are creating is a good step in the right direction.  

How did you weigh in this week? 

Don't Forget the Gift Receipt!

Are you a good gift giver?  Of course, you are.  We all think we are great gift givers but some of the best intended and thoughtful gifts don't make the cut for one reason or another.  Make sure you include a gift receipt so that if what you think is a great gift isn't, that special person in your life can return or exchange it.  Don't be offended if they return, exchange, sell, or donate your gift.  It's often hard to find people gifts that they love and can use, especially in our society when everyone has everything.  It's the thought that counts in the end.  

Slow Clap Presents: Smiling Pile of Poo Emoji Merchandise

Real Story.  Real Stupid.

Magdalene and I made a run to Michael's to pick up the glossy paint to finish off the ornaments this year from our annual ornament sweatshop tradition.  On our way in, we noticed that you can buy a smiling pile of Christmas poo.  The hard part was picking out which one we liked the best.  First world problems are the worst!

Pile of poo became an official emoji in 2015.  The origin of the pile of poo emoji comes from a Japanese cartoon character named Dr. Slump.  Dr. Slump became popular in 2011 and served as the inspiration for the pile of poo as we know it today.

Because Americans will buy anything, you can now buy pile of poo emoji: plush, pillows, bedding, towels, shower curtains, window curtains, slippers, shirts, hats, leggings, boxers, earrings, necklaces, magnets, mugs, coasters, cookie cutters, pens, phone cases, costumes, ID straps (for the professional in your family), pinatas, license plate car tags and decals (for the car enthusiast in your family), fidget spinners, and ornaments.  I'm sure the list could go on and on but that was what I found on a quick search.

There is a demand right now for smiling pile of poo birthday parties.  You can get all sorts of party supplies and even a smiling pile of poo cake for your little one.  How on earth are parents going to explain that in ten years?  When looking back at pictures and your teenager asks why the heck you threw them a sh!t party what will you say?  "Well honey, poop was really cool then."  Or when they find their poop ornament with a Santa hat?  "Oh dear, you just loved that little turd so much, we wanted you to remember it forever."

Let me be clear, I don't have an issue with the emoji.  I freaking love poop and fart jokes.  I have a great sense of humor.  I like all humor, dirty humor, toilet humor, you name it.  I specialize in double entendres.

What I don't like is how stupid we are as a country.  Americans spend so much money on useless crap and spend way beyond their means.  The average credit card debt in our country is between $5,700 and $8,284 per household.  Minnesota has an average credit card debt per household of $6,761, and ranks 36th out of 50 for credit card debt.  Alaska is number one with an average of $13,048 per household.  In America, 40% of households carry credit card debt.

My two cents: Don't spend your money on a piles of sh!t.

Rating: I give pile of poo emoji merchandise one out of five possible slow claps for being f**king stupid.

The smiling pile of Christmas poo that caused a sh!tstorm in my brain

Stebber Holiday Traditions: The Holiday Movie

How often do you sit together and watch a movie as a family?  The Stebber family doesn't make the effort to get together and watch a movie as a family very often, but we do make the effort every year during the holidays.  Each year we decide on a Christmas movie and we watch it together in our family room.  It's cold out and the family room has a fireplace, we all have blankets and are snuggled in, even the dogs.  We make popcorn and pick out snacks that everyone loves.  It's a time to relax and just enjoy the special time of year.  We watch our movie on Netflix or Amazon.  This year we are planning to watch Home Alone (1990.)  A few movies we have enjoyed in the last few years are: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989), Elf (2003), A Christmas Story (1983), and How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000.)

Stebber Holiday Traditions: Not Always Structurally Sound Gingerbread House

Nick, our family elf, has been bringing us a gingerbread house each season for the last few years.  I assume Nick realizes that this is a pretty wasteful project, so I make sure to compost the house and recycle the box at least.  I’m not sure elves take zero waste all that seriously. Anyway, Nick brings the gingerbread house direct from the North Pole, wrapped in official Santa wrapping paper.  It’s so nice that we have an elf that does this so that I don’t have to. If I did have to take care of it, (which I most certainly do not) I would make sure to pick up a pre-built gingerbread house from Target as soon as they hit the shelves.  The first time Nick brought us a gingerbread house, it was the kind that you assemble. It seemed simple enough but due to some structural deficiencies, it collapsed about two seconds before I took the picture of this lovely home. Sadness ensued and Christmas was ruined. Just kidding, Christmas wasn’t ruined but the kids were bummed because they had worked really hard on it. We have a strange humor in our home and we often accuse one another or even blame arbitrary events, of ruining Christmas. The moral of this story is that a gingerbread house decorated together is a magical holiday tradition.  Also, make sure your elf gets pre-built, so you don’t have to concern yourself with structural integrity.

2018

2017

2016

*Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe

Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe is a must have for people looking for that special someone!  This isn't your average mistletoe, as the name suggests, this is magic.  Well, not real magic but it's even better than magic!  Magic Mistletoe will snag that hottie 100% of the time, every time.  How?  With a patented three-tier approach.  That's the magic of why it never fails, it literally can't fail.  The first magical approach is that Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe is absolutely jam-packed with pheromones.  Not just one pheromone, all the pheromones.  Androstenone, Androstenol, Androstadienone, and more Copulins than you can count!  Your mistletoe is going to attract every type of suitor, so be careful.  The second approach (not that you are going to need it) is an extra large net that is deployed on your command.  The powerful pheromones will get your target close and once you voice activate net deployment, they can't get away even if they wanted to.  Just be careful not to get yourself tangled in the net along with your target, unless, of course, that's the sort of thing you like.  The third approach (not that you are going to need it) is a healthy dose of Chloroform.  This is reserved for emergency situations only and caution is advised when utilizing this step.  A Chloroform cloud will fog the area with a simple voice command.  Again, extreme caution is advised with this third, and final approach in snagging that special someone.  Don't leave your love life to chance!  Get your very own Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe while supplies last!

Warning: Use of Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe is for entertainment purposes only.  Use of this product could result in equipment damage, bodily harm, injury, or death.  Make sure this product is appropriate for the intended purpose.  Keep out of the reach of small children.  Do not use this product near shallow water.  This product contains peanuts.  Use of this product could result in frivolous lawsuits, criminal charges and/or incarceration.  Use Mama Betty's Magic Mistletoe at your own risk.

*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty

Dear Betty: Reader Suggestion 12/14/18

Dear Betty,

When I was getting some cooking done for Thanksgiving, I took a step back and realized how much waste was being created.  I was surprised at how quickly garbage piles up while preparing a holiday meal.  I took my garbage out and began cleaning the house when I wondered how Betty does things.  I'm sure you must have good ideas for being organized and I want to suggest that you share those ideas.

Thanks,
L

Dear L,

Thanks so much for reading the blog and thank you for your suggestion!  You are correct, I have mad skills for organization.  I've mentioned that I have OCD and I need my environment to be clean and organized, or I feel extremely stressed.  I'll make a point to share some ideas in upcoming posts.  A lot of people like to get organized in the new year so the timing will be perfect. 

Thank you for a great idea!
Betty

Do you have a question, comment, or suggestion?
I'd love to hear from you!

Email me at Mrs.Stebber@gmail.com or comment on the blog

Stebber Holiday Traditions: Spritz and M&M Pretzel Kisses

Two treats that we make every year are spritz cookies and M&M pretzel kisses.  I always make these with the kids because they enjoy it so much.  I have fond memories of making cookies with my mom and I hope to pass that down to my kids too.  Traditions like this will be remembered for the rest of their lives.  I've included the recipes for your baking and eating pleasure.  Do you have a great holiday recipe to share?  Post it in the comments or email me at Mrs.Stebber@gmail.com.

Spritz Cookies

1 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup sugar

2 1/4 cups flour

1 tsp salt (I omit this since I use salted butter)

1 egg

1/4 tsp almond extract (you can use vanilla but your cookies will be sub-par)

food color, if desired (we agree green spritz is a superior cookie)

*Heat oven to 400 degrees. Beat butter and sugar.  Mix in flour, salt, egg, almond extract, and food color (green!)

*Wrestle the dough into the cookie press as you wonder why it's so hard to get it in there.  Press shaped dough (flower shape is where it's at) onto ungreased cookie sheet.  Add sprinkles (if that's your thing.)

*Bake 5-8 minutes or until cookies are set but not brown.  

M&M Pretzel Kisses

Square pretzels

Hershey's kisses (or hugs are great too)

Plain M&Ms

*Preheat oven to 250 degrees.  Lay the pretzels out on a cookie sheet.  Place one kiss on each pretzel and bake 4-5 minutes until soft but not melting.  Remove from oven and quickly place one M&M on each kiss and gently push down.  

2018

Frank (not his real name) helping mommy back in 2016

Weekly Weigh In 12/12/18

It's the second week of the month and it's time to weigh in!  This week, the handsome husband rolled out a whopping one bag of garbage.  We could have made it one more week or so with this bag but some smelly chicken grubble got the best of us and had to go.  I would have just left it out on the deck but the family was tired of having to open the sliding door to throw something away. Sometimes it's best to let smelly chicken grubble have a win.  

How did you weigh in this week?

THC Infused Hemp Oil for Your Hair Gets You High While You Moisturize

None of that is true.  I couldn't help myself, I just thought it would be funny.  I did find an amazing hair oil though!  

I usually dedicate myself to a product once I find one that I like.  Hair oil is an exception.  Maybe I just hadn't found the right one yet but I would try a different one each time I needed a new one.  My hair is a fickle b!tch and I've tried everything from gels, oils, serums, leave in conditioners, to voodoo magic and mild witchcraft.  I've had long hair, medium hair, short hair, a pixie cut, and now back to super long hair.  Truthfully, I hate hair and I wish bald was a sexy look because I would love all the freedom that a bald head has to offer.  Having super long hair is easiest for me because I can just twist it into a bun or wear a ponytail with the least amount of effort.  I have natural soft curls, so I can straighten it or wear it curly depending on the amount of energy I feel like exerting, which is usually minimal to none.  My point is, I've tried it all.  

I've been trying out new products by Garnier because they have a free recycling program with TerraCycle.  I decided to try Garnier Fructis Moroccan Sleek Oil Treatment and I instantly loved it.  I had low expectations because it's a new product for me but it is really amazing.  It is for 'Frizzy, Dry Unmanageable Hair.'  True dat!  I love this product and will continue to buy it.  It's cheaper than most hair oils that I've tried and it is the best one I've used.  You should give it a try and see what it can do for you, even if it doesn't get you high.

Slow Clap Presents: The Sperm Whale VS The Plastic Monster

Real Story.  Real Stupid.

You probably heard in the news that on November 19th, 2018, a sperm whale carcass washed ashore in Southern Indonesia.  You may have been upset by this news or even appalled to learn that this sperm whale contained over 100 plastic cups, 4 plastic bottles, 25 plastic bags, two flip flops, and hundreds of other pieces of plastic totaling 13 pounds.  What's shocking about this story is that this happens on the regular.

A healthy sperm whale can live for more than 70 years.  Adult males can reach 67 feet in length and weigh in excess of 100,000 pounds.  Sperm whales enjoy eating squid, fish, and octopus.  They can consume 2,000 pounds of food per day.  Sperm whales are a vulnerable species and are protected in most of the world.

February 27,2018.  On a rocky beach in Cape Palos, a deceased sperm whale washed ashore.  Cape Palos is a is a port city in the Mediterranean.  This whale was a juvenile and weighed in at only 13,000 pounds.  It was very malnourished due to having 65 pounds of plastic stuck in its stomach and intestines.  The necropsy found plastic bags, garbage bags, ropes, netting, and even a plastic drum.  The whale didn't starve to death.  It's stomach ruptured and it died from peritonitis, an infection in the abdomen.   This finding has prompted Spain to clean up its beaches and reduce the amount of plastic pollution going into the water.

In 2008, two sperm whales washed ashore on a beach in Northern California.  The first whale had suffered death from a ruptured stomach, just like the whale in Cape Palos.  The second whale slowly starved to death because it was literally stuffed with 160 pounds of plastic bags and netting.  Considering an average plastic bag from your big box store weighs between 5 and 9.5 grams, that's a lot of volume.  If you average the weight per bag at 7 grams, that equals 10,368 plastic bags in one sperm whale.  Obviously, I didn't account for the weight of the netting, but does it matter?  The point remains the same.  I imagine I would be rather uncomfortable from swallowing a single plastic bag.

It is estimated that each year one million birds and 100,000 marine mammals and sea turtles die from ingesting or becoming entangled in plastic.  Plastic is one of the biggest threats to whales and dolphins. 

China is the biggest producer of plastic.  They manufacture 3 million tons per year.  Indonesia is second place, followed by the UK, Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, and Russia.  Indonesia is implementing changes and aims to decrease plastic use by 70% by 2025.  

My two cents: We all see these stories in the news and talk about how awful it is that we are doing this to the environment and the animals that have done nothing to contribute to this terrible problem.  Instead of making a change, most people go right back to the same irresponsible behavior.  Giving up plastic and being less wasteful is a process, but it can be done much easier than most people think.  It's rewarding to feel like you are making a difference, however small that little bit may be.

Rating: I give this story 5 out of 5 possible slow claps because it breaks my heart that animals are suffering prolonged, painful deaths through no fault of their own.  Plastic pollution is preventable yet we keep making more and more instead of trying to cut back.  Single use or "disposable" plastic is the biggest contributor in this issue.   How much is enough?  

Stebber Holiday Traditions: The Tale of the Traveling Krampus

Once upon a time, in the early 2000s, my husband at the time and I were taking down the Christmas tree when he grabbed something and asked: "what the $@%& is this?"  I replied "an ornament."  "No, look at it," he said.  I looked at it and answered again "a Santa ornament."  I just wanted to get the tree put away.  I don't remember what he said at that point but I do remember taking a closer look and being very surprised.  

The ornament depicts a sinister Santa stuffing a small child into the present bag with a look of horror upon the child's face.  Nice.  We both accused the other of putting the ornament on the tree but neither one of us had done it.  The next suspect was my brother.  Our family has a special brand of colorful, yet dry humor, so it made sense that he planted it there when his family was over during the holiday season.  He denied it also.  We went through a very short list of friends who had visited and no one took credit for the evil spawn of Satan Santa.  

Instead of packing up the ornament with everything else, we decided to keep it out to try and figure out where it came from.  This is where the real story begins.  Since I was pretty sure my brother was lying when he said he didn't plant evil Santa, I waited and planted it at his house the next time I was there.  I figured that would be the end of it.  If that had been the end of it, we probably would have forgotten about this ornament a long time ago.  Months passed and the ornament was back at my house in some strange place.  That is how it has gone on for all of these years, back and forth, and back and forth.  Months will pass with nothing, and then you open something you don't normally use, and there is Santa waiting for you.  The ornament has turned up in bedding, underwear drawers, in a sewing box, grocery bags, inside presents, just about everywhere and anywhere you can imagine.  I once called my brother and told him I was mailing a packet of pictures, you know, back when people had them developed.  I wasn't sending pictures.  I traced Santa on a piece of cardboard of equal thickness, cut it out perfectly, and inserted the ornament.  That was stuffed inside of a card and I wrote something humorous on it, I'm sure.  The ornament was lost for a couple of years because the ex-husband had put it on a high ledge in a room with a vaulted ceiling at my brother's house.  Thankfully, my brother found it when he was painting before putting the house on the market.    

The ornament has gone back and forth countless times and we do it all year long.  It has turned into a challenge to see who can hide it the longest without it being found.  We've become pretty good at our hides, so the ornament only moves once or twice a year.  Aside from the time it was lost on the ledge, my brother and his wife hold the current record for the longest hide.  I think it was in a box of noodles for a few months.  My husband went to make pasta and we ended up having evil Santa join us for dinner.  

My brother's wife is credited with naming the ornament "Krampus."  She called it by that name a few years ago and it stuck.  I honestly have no idea how Krampus made its way to my Christmas tree all those years ago, but it has evolved into a spectacular game and tradition that may well last the rest of our lives.     

Krampus, in all of his evil glory

Stebber Holiday Traditions: Ornament Sweatshop

Holiday traditions are very important in our home.  The holidays are a special time and a big reason is the handful of traditions that we have.  One of those traditions is painting ornaments. Every year I go to Michael’s and pick out plaster Christmas ornaments for the kids to paint.  You have to get them early because they sell out fast. There is no packaging, so that is a plus. It’s my husband’s job each year to untie the ribbons to get them ready to paint.  I select 3-4 ornaments per child. Sometimes I get them each the same ones and other times I just get whatever they have and the kids split them up. Some years I give a few to the grandparents as special homemade gifts from their grandchildren.  

On painting day, we listen to holiday music and we all sit together while the kids are painting.  My husband and I help the kids. We squirt the paint, write names and the year on the backs, and do all the cleanup.  After the paint is dry, it’s my job to do the clear coat. It takes two or three coats to get a nice shine and make them really look finished and beautiful.  The clear coat is also a means of protecting the ornament since it is plaster and can easily break. After the clear coat is dry, the ribbons go back on and they are complete.  

These are my favorite ornaments.  There is something inherently beautiful in the art of children.  When each of the kids moves out of the house, I’ll give them some of their ornaments for their own Christmas tree and family to enjoy.  Most I’ll keep for my husband and I to enjoy as timeless treasures from when the kids were young. Time rushes by and these ornaments serve as a reminder of years past.