Deterring. Undocumented. Migrant. People.
Finally, a solution that will secure our border and truly make America great again! No more talk about border walls, fences, rebar, precast concrete, or artistically designed steel slats. No more government shut down or talk of a national emergency. No more $5.7 billion price tag. The end has finally arrived for the border wall conundrum.
This new idea is something that all parties agree on. This new idea is so effective and cost-efficient that the president, democrats, republicans, Congress, the house, the U.S. military, and even Mexico are all voting to proceed with the plans. The United States is happy because this solution will keep out dangerous women and children seeking refuge as well as cartels and terrorists. Mexico is happy with the solution because it will keep Trump supporters in the U.S. where they belong. In fact, Mexico is so happy that they have promised to pay for half of all costs.
So what is this efficient, cost-effective idea that has everyone thrilled? A garbage moat, of course. The garbage moat will be so secure that both countries will be completely fortified from the other. President Trump has dubbed this his Deterring Undocumented Migrant People solution, or D.U.M.P. for short.
The garbage moat, or D.U.M.P., will span the full length of the border. It will be 175 feet wide and will vary in depth anywhere between 80 and 500 feet or more. The varying depth will serve as an additional deterrent for anyone who wants to tunnel under it since they will have no idea how deep to dig at any particular point.
Garbage of all sorts will be continuously heaped into the moat and piled high. It will not be vented in any way so that as the garbage produces methane, it will serve as another deterrent. Not many people are going to risk crossing a moat of unstable methane burping garbage that could explode or ignite at any given moment.
Trump's D.U.M.P. will make America great again!
Trump's got enough hot garbage for everyone!
*Satirical Saturday brought to you by Betty
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