Bacon Fat: The Gentrification of Accelerants

I wrote a post called The super amazing UN-paper towel on August 30th, 2018.  It talks about giving up paper towels and all that jazz.  [Insert jazz hands here.]  I mentioned that the only thing we use paper towels for is to soak up the grease on the bacon when we make it.  A reader commented that she uses her bacon fat for cooking.  She uses it in place of butter or vegetable oil.  I've thought about doing that quite a few times since then but I just can't bring myself to eat bacon fat.  It did get me thinking about what else I could use it for.

Think about it.  You cook your bacon and dump the fat, or grease, into a can and keep it tucked in the back of the fridge.  When it's full, you toss it in the trash and it is later entombed in the landfill until alien archaeologists discover it two thousand years into the future.

I was heading out to burn the contents of our burn bucket one afternoon and since the handsome husband wasn't home, I was wondering how much effort it was going to take for me to get the fire started.  When it comes to intentionally starting fires, I am a pathetic mortal.  The handsome husband can get a fire going with just the power of his mind and the touch of a finger!  I'm not sure if it's because he was an Eagle Scout or if he just has magic fingers.  I've struggled so miserably in the past that the neighbor (thanks Tim!) will come over and offer to get it going for me.  Anyway, I remembered the can of bacon fat in the back of the fridge and decided to give it a try.  I used a stick to scoop out a generous blob and stuck it into the kindling, along with some paper.  As I tried to light it, I worried the handsome husband would sneak up behind me after I failed and it would be hysterical.  The handsome husband did sneak up on me, but not until the fire was going, and going strong!  That was the first time I was able to start it on the first try.  Amazing.

In conclusion, bacon fat makes a really f*cking awesome accelerant when starting a bonfire.  Is it "weird" or out of the norm?  Perhaps.  But it's a better use than throwing it in the trash.  Use that disgusting hog fat to start your fires, the way mother nature intended.